By Rabbi Dr. Esther Boucher
COMMANDMENT 5
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Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother. What does this
mean? Your parents were the instruments through women God used to
give you life.
This promise is unique in that it is the first one with a promise. It is
also the first commandment dealing with our daily relationships with
others.
God's design has always been for a father and mother to bear children,
raising them to know God and to live their lives according to His
purpose.
Genesis 1:26-28 gives us a look at what God intended the home to look
like. Gen. 2:8, 15-17, describes some of the characteristics of daily
life as planned by God. One of the first responsibilities of parents was
to train their children in subduing the earth and ruling the creatures
that God entrusted in humanity's care. The image of God that Adam
and Eve bore was more than a genetic code, more than a biological
reality; it was a moral and spiritual imprint that would be revealed in
an obedient relationship with God. God intended that bearing His
image and likeness would be the foundation for bearing children and
ruling His creation. It meant cultivating compassion, diligence, and
obedience to the Lord and passing this example to the children, so that
being the image of God they would bring Him glory wherever they
journeyed. God declared that this arrangement was good. The type
of life that someone lives at home will sooner or later be exported to
the world outside the home. The home is the training ground for life,
and second only to personal allegiance to God. Honoring parents is the
foundation for all other relationships outside the home. In honoring
and obeying our parents, we learn to honor the authorities and
companions with whom we will live and work for the rest of our lives.
The verb honor calls for lifelong attitudes and actions. This is not just
a command for children and teenagers; it lasts a lifetime. Honor in
Hebrew is kabed meaning heavy or weighty. Because of the great
responsibility and challenge of parenting, parents not only carry the
weight of burdens in fulfilling their role, but they also are weighty in
their influence on children.
This command comes with the promise "that your days may be
prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you."
Deuteronomy 5:16 adds, "that it may go well with you. In the
Deuteronomy passage the Hebrew word yatab is used meaning
beautiful, good, prosperous, or pleasant. Properly honoring parents
brings stability and strength to the home and the community. Attitude
and order help to establish the self discipline and societal discipline
needed to build the strong relationships and solid partnerships
necessary in business and government. When honor and respect are
lacking in the home and in society they tend to self destruct. The
result is a fragmented nation, which can be easily conquered.
Let's look at some of the Scriptures as guidelines for the parent-child
relationship. Ex. 21:15-17; Lev. 20:9, Deut. 27:14-26; Deut 21:18-21.
In Deut. 27, the child who disobeys a parent puts themselves under
cursed behaviors, all of which are intensely shameful and degrading.
The Hebrew word galah which we translate as to dishonor means to
dispute, which is considered one of the most evil acts. A person who
continually dishonors parents faces opposition from God.
In Ex. 21 the word curse is the Hebrew word galal which means to
belittle another, to despise, to view as worthless or to make small.
The Scripture states that anyone who struck or cursed a parent
warranted the death penalty. This legislation underscores the
seriousness of dishonoring parents.
Deut. 21, helps describe what the child is doing. The son is rebellious,
stubborn and obstinately disobedient. He is obviously selfish,
self-centered, self-absorbed and undisciplined as evidenced by his
ongoing lifestyle which included gluttony and drunkenness. He is totally
unresponsive to any chastisement, training or discipline, one who will
not even listen to his parents. He drains the family and community, he
causes emotional and mental stress and brings shame and
embarrassment. The phrase stubborn and rebellious describe people
out of control, departing from the Lord with hardened hearts.
One of the first evidences of a life consecrated to God is a family in
which children show reverence and respect for their mother and
father. The book of Proverbs is an excellent example of instructions
from a Father to a son. Teaching children to live in God's truth
includes step by step instructions and reproofs along the way to correct
and train. It starts at birth and continues in some measure throughout
life. Children who speak what is right are a joy to their parents. A
foolish child is like a bitter, sharp arrow bringing deep pain, piercing
parents with intense sorrow, even depression. The child who chooses
undisciplined friends shames and humiliates his parents and can bring
ruin to them. The foolish child is a companion of corruption and is
headed for ruin. When parents give loving boundaries and appropriate
correction children are more likely to bring delight.
In Matthew 15:4, the 5th Commandment is repeated using the Greek
word timao for honor. This is from the word timios and meas to prize
or to value./ Giving honor to parents means recognizing their value,
or realizing that they are precious. We should value their experience,
wisdom and counsel, as well as their gifts of life, labor and love.
Not all parents are sterling examples, some act in dishonorable ways
such as abusing and abandoning their children. Some children don't
feel their parents are worthy of honor. God's intention was for people
to reveal His character. When we become new creatures through
Messiah, we are to mature and make disciples in every nation. The
truth of honoring father and mother is a thread running through the
Scriptures from start to finish. Let's look at more Scriptures; Eph.
6:1-3; Col. 3:20. God's call is clear, children are commanded to obey
their parents in the Lord. Obedience must match the boundaries given
in the Word of God, never overstepping clearly marked principles and
precepts. A child should never obey something that is evidently
against the World of God. The Scriptures in the book of Timothy also
instructs children or grandchildren in the responsibility of caring for
parents or grandparents. This repays their parents in an honorable
way, a practice acceptable and pleasing to God.
Jesus obeyed Mary and Joseph as he grew up. Everything He said or
did pleased and honored His heavenly Father. On the cross Jesus
fulfilled his responsibility of caring for His mother by placing her in
John's loving care. Nothing Jesus did or said was a result of self-will.
Jesus' testimony was, "I always do the things that are pleasing to
Him." We as G-d's children must also follow this example. Jesus lives
in us to empower us and guide us first in obeying, pleasing and
honoring our heavenly Father. Then, He will guide us in showing
proper honor to our earthly parents as well. II Tim. 3:1-5 talks about
those being disobedient to parents as a mark of the last days, 1 Tim.
1:8-12 speaks of murderers of fathers and mothers. We are living in
those last days and hear of these things on a daily basis. We are called
to repentance and faith in God, to a new life in Him, a life of honoring
the Lord, obeying His Word and honoring our parents.
What if you were adopted or come from a blended family? It is
important to thank and honor those who have cared for you regardless
of how much or how little. You need to express gratitude and honor
for the life you have been given. Even if you faced abandonment or
rejection, you now have a life for which you can be grateful and you
have the opportunity to know love and follow Jesus, our Lord.
Pray for your parents; that God's will, God's work and God's blessing
will be in your parent's lives. Trust God for how that will be done.
Thank the Lord that He never gives up on us and He allows us to be
part of His family. Help others to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior,
to know their heavenly Father and the Presence of the Holy Spirit like
an encouraging father or mother.
mean? Your parents were the instruments through women God used to
give you life.
This promise is unique in that it is the first one with a promise. It is
also the first commandment dealing with our daily relationships with
others.
God's design has always been for a father and mother to bear children,
raising them to know God and to live their lives according to His
purpose.
Genesis 1:26-28 gives us a look at what God intended the home to look
like. Gen. 2:8, 15-17, describes some of the characteristics of daily
life as planned by God. One of the first responsibilities of parents was
to train their children in subduing the earth and ruling the creatures
that God entrusted in humanity's care. The image of God that Adam
and Eve bore was more than a genetic code, more than a biological
reality; it was a moral and spiritual imprint that would be revealed in
an obedient relationship with God. God intended that bearing His
image and likeness would be the foundation for bearing children and
ruling His creation. It meant cultivating compassion, diligence, and
obedience to the Lord and passing this example to the children, so that
being the image of God they would bring Him glory wherever they
journeyed. God declared that this arrangement was good. The type
of life that someone lives at home will sooner or later be exported to
the world outside the home. The home is the training ground for life,
and second only to personal allegiance to God. Honoring parents is the
foundation for all other relationships outside the home. In honoring
and obeying our parents, we learn to honor the authorities and
companions with whom we will live and work for the rest of our lives.
The verb honor calls for lifelong attitudes and actions. This is not just
a command for children and teenagers; it lasts a lifetime. Honor in
Hebrew is kabed meaning heavy or weighty. Because of the great
responsibility and challenge of parenting, parents not only carry the
weight of burdens in fulfilling their role, but they also are weighty in
their influence on children.
This command comes with the promise "that your days may be
prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you."
Deuteronomy 5:16 adds, "that it may go well with you. In the
Deuteronomy passage the Hebrew word yatab is used meaning
beautiful, good, prosperous, or pleasant. Properly honoring parents
brings stability and strength to the home and the community. Attitude
and order help to establish the self discipline and societal discipline
needed to build the strong relationships and solid partnerships
necessary in business and government. When honor and respect are
lacking in the home and in society they tend to self destruct. The
result is a fragmented nation, which can be easily conquered.
Let's look at some of the Scriptures as guidelines for the parent-child
relationship. Ex. 21:15-17; Lev. 20:9, Deut. 27:14-26; Deut 21:18-21.
In Deut. 27, the child who disobeys a parent puts themselves under
cursed behaviors, all of which are intensely shameful and degrading.
The Hebrew word galah which we translate as to dishonor means to
dispute, which is considered one of the most evil acts. A person who
continually dishonors parents faces opposition from God.
In Ex. 21 the word curse is the Hebrew word galal which means to
belittle another, to despise, to view as worthless or to make small.
The Scripture states that anyone who struck or cursed a parent
warranted the death penalty. This legislation underscores the
seriousness of dishonoring parents.
Deut. 21, helps describe what the child is doing. The son is rebellious,
stubborn and obstinately disobedient. He is obviously selfish,
self-centered, self-absorbed and undisciplined as evidenced by his
ongoing lifestyle which included gluttony and drunkenness. He is totally
unresponsive to any chastisement, training or discipline, one who will
not even listen to his parents. He drains the family and community, he
causes emotional and mental stress and brings shame and
embarrassment. The phrase stubborn and rebellious describe people
out of control, departing from the Lord with hardened hearts.
One of the first evidences of a life consecrated to God is a family in
which children show reverence and respect for their mother and
father. The book of Proverbs is an excellent example of instructions
from a Father to a son. Teaching children to live in God's truth
includes step by step instructions and reproofs along the way to correct
and train. It starts at birth and continues in some measure throughout
life. Children who speak what is right are a joy to their parents. A
foolish child is like a bitter, sharp arrow bringing deep pain, piercing
parents with intense sorrow, even depression. The child who chooses
undisciplined friends shames and humiliates his parents and can bring
ruin to them. The foolish child is a companion of corruption and is
headed for ruin. When parents give loving boundaries and appropriate
correction children are more likely to bring delight.
In Matthew 15:4, the 5th Commandment is repeated using the Greek
word timao for honor. This is from the word timios and meas to prize
or to value./ Giving honor to parents means recognizing their value,
or realizing that they are precious. We should value their experience,
wisdom and counsel, as well as their gifts of life, labor and love.
Not all parents are sterling examples, some act in dishonorable ways
such as abusing and abandoning their children. Some children don't
feel their parents are worthy of honor. God's intention was for people
to reveal His character. When we become new creatures through
Messiah, we are to mature and make disciples in every nation. The
truth of honoring father and mother is a thread running through the
Scriptures from start to finish. Let's look at more Scriptures; Eph.
6:1-3; Col. 3:20. God's call is clear, children are commanded to obey
their parents in the Lord. Obedience must match the boundaries given
in the Word of God, never overstepping clearly marked principles and
precepts. A child should never obey something that is evidently
against the World of God. The Scriptures in the book of Timothy also
instructs children or grandchildren in the responsibility of caring for
parents or grandparents. This repays their parents in an honorable
way, a practice acceptable and pleasing to God.
Jesus obeyed Mary and Joseph as he grew up. Everything He said or
did pleased and honored His heavenly Father. On the cross Jesus
fulfilled his responsibility of caring for His mother by placing her in
John's loving care. Nothing Jesus did or said was a result of self-will.
Jesus' testimony was, "I always do the things that are pleasing to
Him." We as G-d's children must also follow this example. Jesus lives
in us to empower us and guide us first in obeying, pleasing and
honoring our heavenly Father. Then, He will guide us in showing
proper honor to our earthly parents as well. II Tim. 3:1-5 talks about
those being disobedient to parents as a mark of the last days, 1 Tim.
1:8-12 speaks of murderers of fathers and mothers. We are living in
those last days and hear of these things on a daily basis. We are called
to repentance and faith in God, to a new life in Him, a life of honoring
the Lord, obeying His Word and honoring our parents.
What if you were adopted or come from a blended family? It is
important to thank and honor those who have cared for you regardless
of how much or how little. You need to express gratitude and honor
for the life you have been given. Even if you faced abandonment or
rejection, you now have a life for which you can be grateful and you
have the opportunity to know love and follow Jesus, our Lord.
Pray for your parents; that God's will, God's work and God's blessing
will be in your parent's lives. Trust God for how that will be done.
Thank the Lord that He never gives up on us and He allows us to be
part of His family. Help others to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior,
to know their heavenly Father and the Presence of the Holy Spirit like
an encouraging father or mother.